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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

 

MACABRE POST


Vos Is Neias reports about the many Jews from far and wide who traveled to Lizhensk (in hostile Poland!)for the Yarthzit of Rabbi Elimelach from Lizensk.
This reminded me of and old post...

Those who grew up in frum, close knit Jewish communities know how many meshugassen (follies, strange customs) there are.
Some have a basis in Halacha (Jewish law), and some were generated many years ago, based on circumstances, superstitions and customs adopted by various Rabbis.
Some I find funny and enjoyable, some I find strange at best and ridiculous at worst and some can just not be fathomed by my pragmatic mindset.

We all know the grass is greener by the neighbor, but there’s an insightful mussar story (story with a moral), that envisions everyone throwing his pack of t’zures (troubles) into one big container, and then choose another one.
When selecting another pack , most people will want to pick up the one their threw in originally rather than any other, teaching that everybody is given the challenges that fit their level of strengths, and that the tribulations of others, which are not always known or visible, will seem much harder to bear.

Since exchanging is not an option, Jews will resort to prayer and beg H’Ashem for help, for the tiniest insignificant worry to matters of life and death, a Siddur (prayer book) and a Tehillim (psalms book) is always within reach
And so it’s a common occurrence that a text message is being passed from one person to the next with a request to pray for someone, usually a person the receiver of the text message doesn’t know, but that does not matter.
Praying has almost scientifically been proven to be effective and many wonderful stories can attest to the fact that prayer, recited by oneself or by others on one's behalf, helped them, physically, psychologically and metaphysically.

Besides praying, many Jews, especially Chassidim, finding themselves in dire situations will appeal to a Rabbi to pray on their behalf.
It is believed that a righteous person’s prayer is more powerful, and that their blessing can bring about salvation to any predicaments.
Some people go to a Rabbi to ask for a blessing or for advice in all matters. Naming a child, moving to another house or country, which material to learn etc…
Others will visit the Rabbi’s only in situations of need, such as illness and the like.

In recent years a trend has developed to visit graves of Tzadikkim(righteous ones) of the old days, whether it’s in Poland or in Russia, or in Israel. Often these trips are coupled with visits to concentration camps. Long time readers know how I feel about these.
People will drive for hours and fly miles to visit a grave, pray at its sight and leave.
Some particular graves are renowned to help in specific cases, one is great when you need a Shidduch, another one is great for a Refuah Shelemah (getting healthy) etc..
Unfortunately, praying at a grave is no guarantee for anything, and many having spend money and energy, come only to feel their last hopes are now crushed.

Personally I don’t participate in these travels.
I’m not saying I don’t believe it is of any use, but I can’t help but think it’s sort of unreal.
Prayer is available to all, and if one does have the belief that a righteous person’s prayer is more effective, then there are plenty of live ones where one can appeal.
Visiting graves, as a tourist-thing-to-do beats all the other meshugassen I know.
Visiting them in such hostile countries as Poland for the purposes of praying less so, because I understand the visitors are often driven there by despair.
Yet I’m still of the opinion that deceased people are in another world, hopefully better one, and that prayer is to be directed to H’Ashem and not inadvertently to Tzadikim that are no longer with us.


What is your opinion? Do you visit gravesides to pray and invoke the merit of the deceased? Do you feel it’s useful to pray at gravesides or is H’ashem just as close in our homes and Shuls as he is by the Kevorims and in countries where Judaism hasn't been practiced for the last 40 years?



Comments:
I guess people feel that the tzadik they came to visit and who is in olam haba will be like an advocate for them. But I agree that there are plenty of live ones that they can go to.
 
I visited some graves of Zadikim when living in Israel and I must say that it is very very special and it felt very different. But I would never ever travel to Poland to visit graves.

Great that you´re back!
 
good timing. over here, we're planning to visit the lubavitch rebbe's ohel but i keep having these moments where i think it's a good idea, and then others where i'm not sure if there would be a point in it, but a lot of people come back and say that they felt something when going. then again, at the very least, it is a way to pay respects and all.
 
Yay for the updated post. Anyway back to the topic at hand, I have prayed many times by graves, I believe that the tzaddikim are a merit for us. Not that I ever saw results necessarily.
 
it's not always about prayer though. for example, Rav Nachman of Breslov; thousands upon thousands of people travel to his grave in Uman every Rosh Hashannah. not, the hard-core Breslovers feel like this is saving their souls, yes; but many others go purely for the experience. there is something tremendously spiritually uplifting in seeing thousands and thousands of Jews in a random spot in the middle of nowhere, all gathered together for the purpose of growing together within this spiritual experience.it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced anything like it.
I was at Rav Elimelech's grave about two years ago (not on his yahrtzeit, but around it I guess.) there's lots of singing and dancing that goes on there. it's kind of fun.
 
I think when we go to the graves of tzaddikim and of relatives, it's sort of emotional blackmail. We pray for your aliyas neshama, but with the understanding that you will use your newly elevated lofty status to intercede on our behalf.
 
Anon, there's a more respectful way to say that
 
LVNSM-That's a point.
I just think people shouldn't forget they are supposed to Daven to H'Ashem.

Smorgas-In Israel everything is special :)

Bec-Nice to see you again here :)
How's your little one?
I guess it can't hurt to go and see for yourself whether it's a good idea or not.

Social-Thanks for the nice welcome :)
If results were immediate and obvious, I’d be running to the Kevurim:)

Miri-It must be an interesting experience indeed, even if one doesn’t immediately believe it’s the ideal place to Daven.

It’s all good now- well put; interesting point of view.

S said-Thanks for pointing that pout, I really do think it’s stupid to be disrespectful on a blog.
 
I dont know which way i feel. sometimes I do feel if you make the extra effert to go to a jever of a tzadik then hashem "Gives" that extra effort back to us. The bottom line is tefillahs are heard from anywhere. god always here our cries.
 
I have gone to gravesites for several reasons, some of them motivated by self, and some by others. For example, each year before the beginning of The Days of Awe, I always go to the graves of the 6 million and put stones on each marker (based on the camp where the individuals perished.) Of course, the purpose of this is to remember our fellow Jews who died during the Holocaust, evoking the declaration that we shall never forget.

I have gone to my father's and grandmother's graves recently to pray for the well being of our daughter. Also, I have asked for prayers from Rebbes too, and additionally, for my fellow Jews. I figure that prayer cannot hurt, but has the most wonderful potential to help enrich the life of the individual davening as well as the person for whom he/she is praying for.

Going to Poland to pray would indeed be a wonderful experience.

Also, there is a website where you can pray at the Kotel on-line. I go there every day and pray for the safety and well being of Israel.
 
While graves of tzadikim can be powerful places for tefilah, just going to where they davened is just as powerful. Great post, glad you found time to write!
 
When I was in Tsfat I prayed at the grave of the ARI. It was truly a remarkable experience. But I'm not praying at the grave on anyone here in the states.
 
Heavy subject, lots of mixed feelings.
The Poles hate us Jews, but they love the mula we bring and leave.
The tzaddik surely has influence in heaven, but are we worthy of it?
Why can't I daven to Hashem from my livingroom. Oh, a tzibur is better, having a greater spiritual reach, therefore davening at a tzadiks grave should also.

I davened at a large smorgasboard of graves. Some emotionally uplift you, some not. I think it all in the mind.
I feel at the kosel, I'm sure that if I was dropped at the kosel with a blindfold I'd know it. There is something there.
Kever Rochel too, I felt a Homey-ness, sorta like at bubby's home.

The Tiferes Shlomo (yartziet 29 adar) wrote that miracles are more dependant on the belief in the tzaddik, the tzaddik's koach.

Ps I got engaged a couple of weeks after stopping at Amuka. That's a post on its own.
 
Neil-It’s actually a recycled post :)

Amishav-Some places truly are special.

Yingerman-I got to admit that most readers do not agree with me, perhaps I should give it another try.
Thanks.
 
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It feels very different when you visit grave sites. I liked your post. Keep blogging!!

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