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Thursday, June 22, 2006


Blog- real- Life

About a year ago my blog and the people I interacted with in blogland were nothing more than escapism.
I wrote a few very impersonal lines when I had some time and waited three or four days to read a few responses (yeah, great!, visit my blog, etc…)

Then J blogland grew and the bloggers were no longer some screen names I read and wrote to.
They were people, with sorrows ,worries , great ideas and some solids opinions.
Worse! (i.e. better) they worried ,thought and rejoiced about the same things I did, they were funny, hilarious, deep and meaningful.
They were people, very smart thoughtful people.

Worse! (i.e. better) they would bring comfort in times of distress and share and express joy when a Simche occurred.
Real life and Blog life had totally blurred.

Instead of “I really should call Alan, I haven’t spoken to him in a long time” it has become “OMG someone might have a new post up"!
I used to get excited about getting a letter in the mail, now I’m excited for being included in an Havel Havelim edition.
“Who’s on the line”?, I ask my wife.” “Your friend in Israel”, she quips.
Why do I need to talk to him? I’m commenting to a post by an Israeli blogger, I think to myself, “Say I’m busy”.

Yes blogging and real life are no longer separate units….

Do you look at it as a good thing or a bad thing?

I look at blogs as people who I will most likely never meet, most of whom are annoys, but need a place to speak out.

Not having the time now to blog, or even browse blogs, its kind of fading away.
It can become hazy. I find it so imortant to realize that blog world is blog world and not real life. So many people in blogworld are unfortunately dishnoest about themselves etc. I have a hard time finding it real. Sorry.
Well if this doesn't get you into Haveil Havalim, I don't know what will. :)
True words. In the short time that I've been blogging, I find that while it's a healthy outlet, it cannont replace the precious interaction with my wife and kids. Family first...Blogging second.
I'm also trying to figure out if its a good thing or a bad thing.
On the one hand I waste alot of time..time that I should be things I need to do. On the other hand..the intellectual dialogue can be so exhilirating..
david, oh pleeeeeeease.

one minute, let me get my barf-bag
I agree. One can become consumed with posts and the people behind them in blogsville. That being said, I think that the big people in our lives are really the ones who are actually there for us each day, family, friends, and others (in real time.)
I know what you mean about the blogworld becoming real. What I also find interesting is that on the internet we all know each other. But if we were to all see each other in person, we probrably wouldn't know that that's the person we've been speaking to unless we mentioned our blogs. lol
I am also curious if you think this is good or bad. I don't think of blogland as real life. When it is thought of as real life I would begin to worry. Priorities should be first. This is not a priority in my mind. It is very important to me but second to family and friends. It can get hazy if one interacts or meets the bloggers.
lol, cute post. I wish i could honestly beleive everything people write but feel as frum idealist said that not everyone is honest. unfortunalty if they want to be honest they write anonymously. i dont know why people need to hide behind their blog name ( which is not even real!) LOL we want to hold a reputation in blogworld as well! I myself try to be as honest as i can.
gee.. looks like you were too late...It's all over you..
The real me- that’s a hard question, hence the ‘worse-better part’.
I guess it’s not so terrific, I actually feel bad when I don’t post for awhile.
When I don’t have time to blog around I feel guilty about it, which isn’t good at all.
On the other hand it’s a good outlet and a certainly a more creative pastime than TV

It’s good that you’re too busy to blog, real life should be accorded absolute priority in any case.

A frum- I bet some take a poetic license in their writings, however that doesn’t matter, you see the Bloggers as they wish to project themselves.
If you don’t like the image than you’re free to pass up the blog in question.
I also think many are very honest, more so than they could ever be with people in their ‘real life’.

I agree tough that real life(work, spouse, family, friends…) should come first. And even second.

Gavriel- That was my intention all along :)
Thanks for stopping by.

Neil harris- agreed, it’s just that after awhile it starts to get blurred.
Your wife may I ask you a question while you’re writing your next post and unconsciously you may decide to finish your post before answering her.
That’s where the danger starts.

David-I know what you mean, subjects no one you know have an opinion on (like blogging in my case)when you write about it, all the bloggers will tell you what is right or wrong about it.
Often even using clever arguments and logic.
This feud with marriageisnot… something new?

Marriageisnotdeath-Well if you know so many intellectual people then….well yeah.

Barbara-Yes it’s true; we still need our ‘real life’ friends more so than blogville.

Lvnsm27-True, and I think we’d probably stop visiting each other’s blog after that.
Reality can be a big disappointment too.

Socialworker-I’m not thrilled by it, it’s definitely wrong too be too busy blogging to speak to an old friend.
And it’s ridiculous that I feel bad when I haven’t blogged for a week or so, on the other hand blogging does give me a sense of satisfaction and it has become a part of my week.
Real life people though should and will still come first.

Chaverah- It’s true that many bloggers may be dishonest but aren’t people like that everywhere, real life, weblife, chatlife etc…
On the contrary the anonymous bloggers are usually painfully honest which is refreshing as so many people I know are not.
It is sooo true. And indeed a difficult balance to keep.

But you have to keep in mind that ultimately those in real life always come first.
Exsem-That's what I'm going to work on, real life 1st!
Good we agree. It isn't bad that blogging makes you feel good. It makes me feel good. It is good to have outlets as long as we know what comes first.
Take care - if you ever reach the stage that your wife can only communicate with you if she posts a comment, then seek help FAST.
well if someones gonna give..he has to be ready to get..
so much to say on this..
I've also found that it makes things more difficult when people you actually know are reading your blog. There is at least one toic that I decided not to discuss because I didn't want to share the idea with one of my friends who reads my blog. (And I feel like I also need to clarify that it's not anyone in the J-blog world in case one of them reads this comment. And so on....)

As a side note, you were the first person to read my blog who I don't know in real life. (At least I assume I don't, but as lvnsm27 said, we could all know each other and just not realize that it's the person whose blog we read.)
The line for me has indeed blurred.

Now I only answer to the name 'Kasamba'.
this question is something i think about a lot! on the one hand i tell myself i dont want my relatinships to be based on superficial factors and meeting people on line opens up so many more options, and allows amazing relationships and learning experiences to develop, on the other hand we are social beings and living glued to a computer cant be too healthy.
i think people shouldnt be so quick to dismiss on line friendships and connections. i dont think there is much of a seperation between on line people and real life people - only the medium of communication changes. but, with a different mode of cumminication comes a different dynamic and both (on line and real life) can be positive.
i dont really agree with the view that the internet, or on line people or blog poeple are not real. people who are honest and sincere will be that way on or off line and fakers and insecure losers will be that way on and off line, in my experience its just as easy to tell them apart if you pay a little attention - of course there will be exceptions that get past your radar, but thats on and off line.
i think whats "real" is the life you create for yourself, some of that comes from family, some from friends, some from intelectual pursuit, some from on line conversations, some from books.... you take all that and create your "real life"
Interesting... I thought the post would be about people in blog-life becoming "real" because you met them - as I have been doing. For me, it's just another part of my life, not replacing a previous part... it seems unhealthy to let it.
Blogging has become part of my life, obviously real people come first but it's like anything that you do: if you enjoy it and it's positive and you're learning and growing then you start to care and it become part of you like everything else you're involved in.

(I also thought this post would be about meeting other bloggers in real life!)
It's a good thing.

It's a bad thing.

But mostly a bad thing.
Its a very bad thing.
Jemima3- It hasn’t reached that stage yet, but I’ll be on alert.

Esther-That’s is the idea of blogging anonymously, however not all types of blogs require anonymity, say for e.g. to share recipes or so.
Did you tell your friends about your blog? Or did they discover it was you?

Kasamba-I bet you have a somewhat more common name in real life. No one will argue though tat Kasamba is very original and easy o the tongue.
Anonym00kie-well put, what you wrote makes a lot of sense, some Bloggers are indeed much ‘realer’ than many of the people we see face to face

Ezzie- not replacing a previous par
This only works if you have enough time to add blogging to your life, if you don’t then inevitably it will go a the cost of something else.

Sarah-So far I have not yet had this luck, thoug I believe it would be very exciting to meet my blog friends someday.

Genendy- Right as usual.

Frumgirl-I agree.
Prag - so what is the remedy? IS it truly an addiction? And this underworld of correspondence, if blasted open... would it cause devestation in the 'real world'?
I hear you. Blog and real life has suddenly seemed to blend. Where does one start and the other end?
Frumgirl-the remedy is set limits, blogging once a week for e.g.
Or not to go online until everything (like the dishes, phone calls, etc..) has been taken care of.
I’ve intentionally never written a truly revealing post, or shared huge secrets about my life
So if anyone were to discover the person behind the pragmatician I think I would be fine, although I’d very disappointed.
But I can imagine that for some it would be a catastrophe.

Stacey-hi, how’ve you been?
I think that blogging should start only when real life has no requirements of our time.
It seems to me that you have a healthy attitude towards blogging, you write from time to time and you comment on many posts yet you don’t give the impression to be on blogspot all the time.
Prag -

too too too too true and hilarious!!!
well expressed!
thanks for the laugh
they say a laugh comes when one recognizes something as the truth...
and you had me roooollling!!!
btw - i think ezzie's comment was the most pragmatic!!
TOWIK-I'm glad you liked this post and it sure never hurts to laugh a little.
Ezzie's coment was very pragmatic indded, only who has the time?
It is all a matter of balance.
Its something which I think we all go through in our blogger development, but you have to realize, that all bloggers are also real people sitting behind a screen just like you and I, and you often have more in common with than someone you once met or you know in person because they once davened in the same shul or you were in school together 30 years ago. It is an extension of real life. (You just may need to be careful how you allocate your time to people in the flesh and those whom you have only read their writings.)
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