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Tuesday, February 14, 2006


When I started The Pragmatician, no one was reading it, at the very least nobody let me know they were reading my posts. So I have no qualms about recycling an old post today. Why today you ask? Read and you’ll find out.
It was originally posted in August of 2005


As if it wasn’t bad enough that music is prohibited during the three weeks from Sunday on, it is meat’s turn to become the forbidden fruit.I won’t get into how excessively hard this is for me, for fear of repeating myself.

These are positively the hardest times of the year, almost no simchas take place, and even Bar Mitzvahs are sad affairs with the real celebration taking place sometime after Tisha Be’Av.

Luckily after these trying weeks, it’s vacation time. And about a week after fasting, it’s Tu Be’Av a.k.a. Yom Ahavah, which seems to be a vague equivalent of valentine’s day.Yep for those who are surprised even valentine’s day is inspired from something Jewish. (Like everything else)

This concept dates back to the times of Shaul Hamelech.(or Shloime not sure now).It was the custom on that day to let the unmarried women run loose and for bachelors to go and grab the girl who pleased him the most.It’s actually mentioned in the Gemarah(Talmud, Taanit 31a).

“The daughters of Jerusalem would go out... and dance in the vineyards" and "whoever did not have a wife would go there".

It is considered a very joyous day and despite it’s obscurity a very spiritual and important one.The actual relative significance of the day can better be understood by means of this quote in the last Mishnah of Masechet Taanit.

“Rabi Shimon ben Gamliel said "Israel has no days as festive as the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur”

Just as on Tisha Be’Av a number of unfortunate events came over the Jews at different times and places so too a number of auspicious events happened on Tu Be’Av.

It is great to know that when the three weeks are over there’s a day like that coming up.Just to lift our spirits and remind us that being Jewish isn’t all about sadness and mourning it’s equally about celebration, joy and simchas of all kinds.I remain with one question; my wife pressured me to make an effort last valentine. Although I wasn’t enthusiastic about participating in a non-Jewish holiday, I caved in and bought her a nice gift, which I otherwise wouldn’t have for no particular occasion. Now on Yom Ahavah which is a Jewish festivity, am I supposed to ‘make an effort‘ again?

Information about TU Be'Av gathered from general knowledge and

Torah Tots,Zipple,Chabad Magazine

thanks for coming to my site for my Tu bishvat party
thanks for that information on your post-too bad I didnt have it last night when I was invited to give a dvar torah to 100 people and I had nothing fresh and interesting. next time I have a dvar tora to prepare I will come to you
You can always ask, or you can Parsha Potpourri he's the expert!
I enjoyed reading that. Tu B'Av sounds like it could be a lot of fun.
How very interesting, Prag.

And too bad in days of old that the unmarried girls couldn't run around and pick the unmarried bachelor that pleased them most!!

Did you cave this year and get your wife a gift? I hope so!
Interesting insight prag.
I like the twist.

Can you just imagine what today's roshei yeshivos would say if we attempted to re-institute these tu b'av practices?
This gives me hope. Please tell me when it is and I'll be there. I'm seeking Jewish, single, solvent, gsoh (needs one to put up with ditzy me) 45-60... am willing to relocate if necessary.

I love the idea of yom ahava

b'ahava ann xxxxx
Yeah Prag, you just better "make an effort" again because i'm sure your wife is a very nice woman or you wouldn't have married her!!
I pouted a bit when i read these words in your post..."valentine’s day is inspired from something Jewish. (Like everything else)"
As a Greek, i just can't swallow this!!!! he he
How intriguing!

Why not make everyday Valentines or Yom Ahava?
tu b'av is a cute holiday. i always find it funny how learning more and more about judaism we are so COPIED throughout history and most JEWS don't even know it.

v-day is my most hated xtian holiday besides xmas. total hallmark holiday designed to make people spend money for no reason. you should be loving and appreciative everyday. i do like candy though. rant over.
Jack- well it isn’t as it’s mostly ignored nowadays, but we could start a revival of the day!

Stacey-Yeah I did, what’s a little money spent compared to your loved ones big smile :)

A frum- Glad you liked this post, back then (august) I barely got a comment on it.
Better not imagine it too loud, it could get ugly.

Hannala- It’s awhile from now, more like July I think, but I’ll post a warning a few days ahead on this blog.
If I remember then!

Evangelia- She is, and yeah I got her something cute and quite expensive.
I know little about Greek culture but I’ve seen the movie My Big ft Greek Wedding an the subsequent television series My big fat Greek life and while I know movies always exaggerate facts it did give me some insight.
It’s true Greeks have some lovely traditions and I can’t deny that we have some stuff in common, like the overbearing but loving families : )

Frumgirl- It would be too expensive on men!

MBS- I agree that everyday one should show love and appreciation for those we love and care about, not only on commercially designate days.
Going along with what FrumGirl said...
it's like in school one of my teachers came in on Mother's Day saying that every day should be Mother's Day.
So I guess the important thing to take from these days is to take that effort, that sense of special occasion and joy and celebration extend throughout the year somehow (other than our numerous chagim!). Doesn't have to be anything big or grand, it's the small actions and words and gifts which can sometimes make a persons day just as much, or even more than an expensive gift that one may feel pressured to give because of a tacky overcommercialised hallmark holiday.
Sara-thanks for your input,the morah said soemthing wise, I completely agree.
I've seen that even a simple text message can be a sign of love and/or affection.
I don't mean buy stuff... but make themost out of it. Live each day like it is the last you will see your loved one... I know, I know... not pragmatic, lol. Still it's a nice level to aspire to.
prag-do you realize that half the actors in my Big fat greek wedding were Jews playing greeks?
I have to say, the idea of frolicking in the vineyard holds some appeal...
Frumg-Like the last time you would see them? that would translate into drama every evening.
But joking aside I understand what you’re saying, show the ones your care about them everyday that you do.

Datingmaster- I recognized the mother as the one who was playing Fran’s aunt
on The Nanny, but none of the others in the cast.

Rebecca- long ago, long ago
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